For Anyone that Hasn’t Seen an Angel

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this is for anyone that hasn’t seen an angel
or a burning bush
or an empty tomb
for anyone that never got to touch the wounds

for anyone who was never struck down on the road to Damascus
but is struck now by this road and its vastness

for anyone searching for wholeness in the ashes of brokenness

I read a blog post once where an atheist claimed that it’s the believer’s job to prove that God exists
as if God would create a world and proliferate a gospel
thoroughly and utterly based on faith
and then make that faith meaningless by showing His face
in the sky or something

and I thought why?
why do we always ask to be shown a sign
why should we live life like anxious bystanders
always asking for a reason to join the dance
instead of having the time of our lives

why do they try to make me doubt it
they can’t prove love
but they keep making a lot of songs about it

you know who only believes in what they already know?
robots
I am not a zero, or a one
I am infinity
I’m thankful for possibility
thankful for the opportunity to learn
how to see things that aren’t in the latest edition of a textbook
and that won’t be erased in the next one
for the wonder that moves me
to do things I might not otherwise do
to become what I might not otherwise become

to be on a road that I’m convinced is longer than my patience
to go and see if my principles are stronger than my temptations

or else
what would be the purpose
would it even be worth it
if there were no foggy intersections to disentangle
no uncharted adventures
no precarious unknowns to step out into
it’s scary but those stones that form under our feet
are the pedestals of testimony
a test that only could have been passed through faith
a testament to the test that we’re meant to take

God is not the one meant to be proven here

we are witnesses to wisdom
testifiers of truth
orators of the grandest of glory
doubters will never know the full story
and they don’t want to

I’m not saying I never have doubts
but I’ve found that when I doubt my doubts
when I use doubts as opportunities for building
instead of catalysts for destruction
is when the mountains start wilting
and as the light bends over the horizon
my soul arises from asylum
my eyes are widened, enlightenment arrives
and I receive the utmost instruction

the beautiful thing is
no matter how much I come to know
God is still bigger than that
which means there’s always room to grow more

I’m happy with the evidence of things not seen
and the substance of what I hope for
because this journey is everything I was molded for

for everyone searching for wholeness in the ashes of brokenness
when everything else has failed
when it feels like faith is all we got left
maybe that’s because faith is all we got right
and if we got that
we’re gonna be alright

I guess what I’m trying to say is
thank you
thank you for all the angels without wings
thank you for all the times you burned bushes in my chest
with a flame so powerful
that I felt like I could sprout wings
thank you for my savior that busted the tomb
for gathering up all my sins
and repealing them
thank you for touching my wounds
and healing them

thank you for not showing me your face in the sky
thank you for showing your face in my life