Real Power

I read an article yesterday written by a woman who left her husband and children and was enjoying her newfound sexual freedom. She specifically championed how empowering it was to have one-night stands and slam the door on her way out.

I don’t wish to single her out or vilify. I’ve actually encountered several similar sentiments recently, stemming from popular comedians to burgeoning podcasters. And it’s not like I go looking for this stuff. It’s pervasive. I used to wonder if it was really true when people would talk about this wave of radical feminism becoming more prominent. I don’t wonder anymore. It’s here. And it’s coming for families.

The core doctrine of this radical feminism is that power comes through autonomy and sexual conquests. As highly coveted as this “power” is becoming, it’s fake. It’s fleeting. It won’t be there for those that reach for it when they need it.

Before I continue, I want to sympathize in a couple ways. The author laments

pastors (that) preach about the evils of lust, the horrors of porn, the sin of sex outside of marriage — all the new joys I was just discovering

and, speaking of her upbringing:

this is the woman I was supposed to be — passively receptive, a pure and holy vessel, empty and waiting, a receptacle for all of a man’s needs, desires, and sperm.

I would contend that yes – lust, pornography, and sex outside of marriage are “sins” according to the definition of the word, which is to transgress a divine law and separate oneself from God. However, I do believe that these things can be taught in a more positive way. For example, instead of “don’t have sex or you’ll burn in hell”, maybe something more like “you shouldn’t save yourself because sex is bad, but because it’s the best thing ever… the most beautiful, transcendent thing that a man and a woman could ever do. How incredible to give someone something so meaningful…”

Sex isn’t bad, and cultivating that mentality often leads to exactly the kind of issues this woman is experiencing later in life. The benefits are just as important to understand, if not moreso, than the consequences.

Also, marriage is hard. How could a meshing of two minds, spirits, and bodies be anything else? Not only is it challenging to always see eye to eye as a couple goes through the trials and tribulations of life, but there are always temptations. If anyone says that a wedding ring creates some magical forcefield around them, they’re either lying, or I want to know where they did their ring shopping.

But anything worth having is going to require work. Pleasure is easy. Joy is hard. Pleasure is never worth it. Joy always is.

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My wife’s father passed away yesterday. She got to be with him during his final sunsets. Her parents have over 100 grandchildren and great-grandchildren, many of whom were also able to be there with him. They sang songs. Played games. Took photos. Told him they loved him, and what they loved about him.

Two things struck my wife these past few days. First, it’s really hard to watch someone die. Someone you love. I don’t know anyone with a stronger faith in God and heaven than her, and it was still harrowing. Second, she kept telling me how powerful it was to watch her Mom take care of him. How they looked at each other. How they whispered through final breaths. He’s been sick and holding on for a long time. It was so powerful see him hold on until his wife was finally ready to let him go. And for his sweet wife of 67 years to finally… let him go.

 

 

They say if you die at home, surrounded by people who love you, your life was a success. That is real power.

Power that no fleeting fling or provocative pixels could ever even pretend to profess.

Power to bind. Power to bless.

Power so powerful that it doesn’t even end

at death.