The Karate Kid is my favorite movie of all time. Last year I spent two months recreating scenes at their original locations around Los Angeles for a video poem ode to what the movie meant to me. I still have the original theatrical poster. I still have many of copies of VHS tapes and DVDs, as well as soundtrack CDs and cassette tapes. You won’t find a bigger fan.
I’m sure as with many others, when news broke of a new television series that would continue the saga I was both intrigued and skeptical. But I knew I would check it out. I really wanted to like it.
The first episode was wrought with nostalgia, from the opening shot of tournament-winning crane kick to the quote dropping and flashbacks. And of course as the main draw it features the original actors playing the iconic roles of Daniel Larusso and Johnny Lawrence. Just writing those names still gives me goosebumps.
As I watched the first few episodes though, it wasn’t long before the feeling of nostalgia was overcome by disappointment. Not because of the plot, or the acting, or the production quality, but because of the writing. The show is produced by YouTube Red, which, similar to Netflix and other streaming TV services, does not have to comply with any FCC regulations. I shouldn’t have been surprised then, that the dialogue was written with all of the boorishness of unrestrained adolescents swearing and making sex jokes as much as they can because their parents aren’t around.
There’s a scene in the third episode where Miguel, one of the young protagonists, is practicing karate in his bedroom with music playing and the door closed. His grandmother puts her ear to the door and says “must be jerking off” in Spanish. This is among the more refined of an endless slew of gags that add nothing to the narrative of the show and exist purely as juvenile fodder.
After that episode I took a break for a few weeks, because although the nods to the original movie were fun and the plot and character arcs were interesting, given how watching it made me feel, I wasn’t sure if it was worth it. Last night I decided to give it one more chance. Again, I really wanted to like it.
Well, episode 4 is centered entirely around a prank that involves Johnny drawing male genitalia on a billboard featuring Daniel’s face. They milk the joke to the tune of at least 20 more graceless indignities, with Daniel’s wife, co-workers, and car dealer competitors all taking dives into the bottom of the barrel to see how low things can go. These characters are in their late 40’s.
The episode also features teenagers doing drugs and intricately critiquing pornography like fully tenured veterans of misogyny. Of course the viewer at home gets to see the porn too.
The trailer for episode 4 features Johnny’s estranged son finding a flyer for his Dad’s new dojo while skateboarding. His friends inquire what he’s upset about, to which he replies “it’s my Dad” in disgust. However, the same scene in the full episode has him saying “it’s my f***ing Dad”. So they clearly had him do the scene both ways in case the profanity wasn’t gratuitous enough when they were putting together the edit. It played much worse with the forced cursing by the way.
I could go on, but I’ve already repainted a lot of pictures that I’d rather not have.
Look, I get that we’re supposed to understand that Johnny has had a rough life and that his son has issues because his Dad wasn’t around. Filmmakers have long been able to convey such themes without the crutch of vulgarity though. And it doesn’t explain why every other character in the show has to curse like a sailor and make raunchy jokes as if it’s the only way punctuate a sentence. The only explanation for this is that the writers are either victims or perpetrators of a society poisoned by perversion. Victims if this is how their minds work after marinating in a society that feels more like a locker room every day, or perpetrators if they’re purposely grasping for views by aiming for the lowest common denominator.
I know the response. “Get out of here with your goodie two-shoes. It’s no big deal. Besides, I’m entitled to my ‘adult’ entertainment.” But when is enough enough? How bad do things have to get before we realize that this continuous deluge of depravity in every type of media we consume matters? That it absolutely does create a culture of objectification, harassment, alienation, and rape?
It’s everywhere and I could say this about the large majority of movies, music, and television. But this one hits close to home for me and it’s quite telling how they’ve turned diamonds to dust here. The original Karate Kid did not need debauchery, crudeness, excessive violence, or sex to tell a story. It’s an impeccable treasure from the lost art of edifying entertainment, and it endures in our hearts because it was enduring and it had heart.
Somewhere deep within Cobra Kai lies the heart of its progenitor, but the producers have chosen to bury it under a mountain of trash. It will be remembered as just another cringeworthy juvenile drama, tainted by the locker room culture it was spawned from.
I guess that’s the difference between timeless and tasteless.
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